Friday, January 27, 2012

The Dead Girl

I remember when I was 16, that there was a local girl that had disappeared from her apartment building.  She was 19 years old, just starting out her life as a young adult, and beginning a life on her own.    

My Mentor had been contacted by the local police department to assist in finding her.  My Mentor had asked for some personal items to connect with the girl, in the hopes of finding her.  I remember one of the items was a barrette the girl had worn in her hair.  

My Mentor asked if I wanted to help with the search for this girl.  I agreed to help, but I wasn't very confident in my abilities at that time.  

I had worked with reading objects, I had spoken with the dead, but I hadn't honed my ability to figure out a recent occurrence and the ability to provide relevant information.  Sure I could describe someone in great detail from their objects, but I wasn't sure how that would be relevant.      

I held the barrette in my hands, and I knew immediately that she was dead.  My Mentor sadly agreed with my conclusion.  I could feel the connection with the girl through the barrette, and I contacted her.  

She was in the void, which is a place that many who die traumatically go to come to terms with the loss of their life.  She felt safe, and she wasn't concerned about vengeance or finding her attackers.  She just wanted everyone to know that she was fine, and she didn't remember much about what happened.

What she did remember was that she was taken by two men, they had driven around, raped her, and that is all she remembered.  She had been disconnected from her body for most of the time.  She gave me bits and pieces of clues, which was passed onto the police.    I'm not sure if any of it actually helped.  

I asked her to tell me where her body was located, but she couldn't tell me.  She showed me her memory, and I saw a lone tree with a shallow grave in the country.  No street signs or landmarks were distinguishable.  She didn't stay long enough, nor could she figure out how to go back to help out more.  

I think she wanted to stay where she was, where she was safe, happy, and alive.  Which I don't blame her after everything she went through.  

I remember spending hours driving country roads, letting my intuition pull me, but I couldn't find that tree.  It haunted and infuriated me that I couldn't find her body or the tree. 

Eventually she was found in a shallow grave, in the country, under a lone tree several miles from where she was taken.

I think back to that time often, and I wonder how I could have helped more.  I was fairly new in exploring my abilities, and I didn't have the experience to be really effective in the investigation. 

I wonder if I had been able to go to her apartment building, if I could have picked up more.  But that wasn't an option we were given at the time.  

I do remember how helpless, hopeless, drained, and horribly sad I felt whenever I worked on the case.  It was difficult to get answers from her, as she didn't want to dwell on the traumatic past.  It was hard to connect with recent memories that happened when she wasn't wearing the barrette.  The entire process was very difficult.    

Although my mentor stated that I helped, I never thought that anything I came up with helped at all.  The entire ordeal took a horrible toll on my emotional and physical state, and it was difficult to stop thinking about her all the time.  

I still think about her, and what she went through.  And I remember the vision of the tree so clear that I could almost reach out and touch it.      


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